MAZ JOBRANI, HOST:
Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: I can. Faith has two. Eugene has two and left it to Jessi with three.
JOBRANI: Ooh.
KURTIS: What about that, Jessi?
JOBRANI: Let’s go Eugene. You are the newest member of the WAIT WAIT family. So let’s go with you first.
EUGENE CORDERO: Yes.
JOBRANI: On Tuesday, Attorney General Barr said the DOJ found no evidence of fraud that would alter a vacant result.
CORDERO: The election.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: Discussions between the White House and Congress resumed this week on a blank plan.
CORDERO: On a stimulus plan.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: On Monday, Merriam Webster chose a pandemic as their void.
CORDERO: Word of the day?
JOBRANI: Word of the year. I would say close enough.
CORDERO: Of the year?
JOBRANI: Well, we’ll say fine.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: After 50 years of breathing problems …
(SAINBITE OF GONG)
JOBRANI: … A Russian man finally went to the doctor and discovered the problem was empty.
CORDERO: Asthma?
JOBRANI: A coin he had moved his nose up to when he was 6 years old.
CORDERO: (Laughter) Oh, boy.
JOBRANI: Yes. In Russia, a coin goes up your nose. In America, a nose is getting you – no, okay. The man was so …
(Laughter)
JOBRANI: The man was so scared that his mother would be angry that he never told anyone about the penny and eventually forgot about it. But 50 years later, an X-ray revealed that he was still lodged in his nasal cavity.
CORDERO: Ew.
JOBRANI: After a multi-hour invasive surgery, the man is thankful that he can breathe again and is surprised that not everything in the world smells like rusty old metal. Bill …
SALIE FAITH: And thank God his wife loved him enough to marry him even though one nostril was four times bigger than the other.
(Laughter)
JOBRANI: Well, maybe she married him for his money.
KURTIS: Oh.
(Laughter)
SALIE: Ah, yes.
JOBRANI: Bill, how did Eugene do?
KURTIS: Eugene had four rights for another eight points. He now has 10. And that gives him guidance.
(APPROVAL)
JOBRANI: Ooh. Eugene, you are in the lead.
CORDERO: I’ll take.
JOBRANI: Okay. Faith, you are up next. Fill in the blank. In a video posted online Wednesday, he was vacated in a 2024 presidential run.
SALIE: Donald Trump.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: On Monday, Wisconsin and Arizona certified voter election wins in their provinces.
SALIE: Joe Biden.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: This week, the CDC shortened their recommended free time for people who might be exposed to COVID.
SALIE: Quarantine.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: On Wednesday, three activists in favor of democracy were sentenced to nearly a year in prison.
SALIE: Hong Kong, China.
JOBRANI: Right. Hong Kong.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: Because Los Angeles was overrun with cases, the city temporarily closed a coronavirus testing center to evacuate.
SALIE: Oh, for a filming session.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: They closed the testing center to shoot Freddie Prinze Jr.’s 1999 film remake “She’s All That.” This week …
SALIE: Oh.
JESSI KLEIN: Its worth it. Its worth.
JOBRANI: Yeah.
SALIE: (Laughter).
JOBRANI: This week, comedian John Mulaney revealed that he was being investigated by the Secret Service for a joke he made while conducting a vacancy.
SALIE: “SNL.”
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: This week, Warner Brothers announced that they would be releasing all of their 2021 films in theaters and on and off at the same time.
SALIE: HBO Max.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: This week, hunter in the Czech Republic …
(SAINBITE OF GONG)
JOBRANI: … He called police to report that a shotgun had stolen his hunting rifle.
SALIE: Oh, deer?
JOBRANI: Yes.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: You kill him.
CORDERO: Wow.
JOBRANI: The man was chasing the deer when his dog became frightened, causing him to bark at him, tear his sleeve and hold the strap of his rifle on his horns. He called the police immediately, who sent someone to the scene hoping to find the gun before the deer went too far or grow antlers and decided to seek revenge.
(Laughter)
JOBRANI: Bill, how did Faith do?
KURTIS: Well, Faith was killing him. She had eight right for another 16 points. She now has 18 and so on.
(PERFORMANCE IMPACT POINT)
CORDERO: Whoa.
JOBRANI: Woo, you’re on fire.
SALIE: Those were lucky guesses.
JOBRANI: Bill, how much does Jessi need to earn?
KURTIS: She needs eight to win.
JOBRANI: All right. Jessi, you ready for this?
KLEIN: Not – no, but let’s go.
CORDERO: (Laughter).
JOBRANI: You got this. Okay, Jessi. This is the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Dr. Birx that Americans who traveled empty should assume they were infected and tested.
KLEIN: Thanksgiving.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: On Wednesday, a void moved to ban inspectors at nuclear facilities.
KLEIN: Iran.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: This week, a federal panel recommended giving medical professionals the first doses of void.
KLEIN: Vaccine.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: On Wednesday, former astronaut Mark Kelly was sworn in as a senator from void.
KLEIN: Arizona.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: This week, an Australian woman says her perfume Sarah Jessica Parker is the reason she was blanched while out for a morning run.
KLEIN: Attacked. Without a lion? Kangaroo.
JOBRANI: Yes, yes, yes. You’re right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: She says her perfume Sarah Jessica Parker led to an attack by a funny kangaroo. On Monday, empty cryptocurrency hit a record high.
KLEIN: Bitcoin?
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: A new report on Thursday showed that another 700,000 people are applying for vacant benefits.
KLEIN: Unemployment.
JOBRANI: Right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
JOBRANI: Over the holidays, the mayor of Austin urged residents …
(SAINBITE OF GONG)
JOBRANI: … Stay safe and stay home in a blank recorded video.
KLEIN: On vacation in Mexico?
JOBRANI: You’re right.
(SAINBITE OF BELL)
KURTIS: (Laughter).
JOBRANI: Holy moly. Yes, at a private beach resort in Cabo. In the video …
KLEIN: So tired.
JOBRANI: … The mayor says, quote – here he says. Quote, “Our numbers are increasing. We need to stay home if you can. This is not the time to relax” – all while relaxing at a resort in Mexico. Yes.
KLEIN: Meanwhile, a hand gives him a margarita in the …
(Laughter)
JOBRANI: Exactly.
KLEIN: Out of the corner of the Zoom window.
JOBRANI: Bill, how did Jessi do? Did she do well enough to win?
KURTIS: She did great. She had eight right for another 16 points. She now has 19, which means Jessi is this week’s champion.
(PERFORMANCE IMPACT POINT)
KLEIN: Yes. Oh, my God, guys, I needed this.
(Laughter)
JOBRANI: Have we ever had two people perfect? Both came out perfect.
CORDERO: Wow. Way to go.
SALIE: I feel proud, Jessi.
KLEIN: Can you hear the glass ceiling crashing?
(Laughter) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.